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August 28, 2005
Put on your butterface
Just because I'm half a continent away doesn't mean that I don't follow the Washington news. As far as I can tell, it consists entirely of the controversy over what to name the National Zoo's new panda. While the popular sentiment (of a half-dozen people I know) is in favor of "butterstick," the Zoo isn't buying it, refusing to allow people to vote for any nonsino options, hacks aside.
I'm a sensible person. I realize that the baby panda is not just a cute, juicy and delicious small animal, it is also a symbol of international goodwill. If a Chinese name will make our eventual communist masters happy, so be it.
But "butterstick" is too good to cast aside.
Across town from the Zoo, the new baseball team with the forgettable name plays in a forgettable stadium with hats that piss off its deep blue hometown fanbase. Attending Friday's Cubs game and surveying the paraphanalia outside Wrigley Field, I came up with an idea that would simultaneously solve everyone's issues.
Keep in mind that pandas are rodents, not bears, eliminating any copyright problems aside from the obvious ones. Ladies and gentlemen, I present:

"Hey butter butter butter butter!"
"Butter up!"
Posted by rj3 at August 28, 2005 5:19 PM
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Comments
So it turns out that pandas are
true bears after all, and not actually
rodents or foxes or raccoons or used
for baking.
Just sayin'.
Posted by: b. at August 29, 2005 11:01 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_Panda
Posted by: b. at August 29, 2005 11:02 AM
Then where did I hear that pandas are somehow different from bears?
Posted by: rj3 at August 29, 2005 11:12 AM
We all heard it when we were kids -
it was the conventional thinking at the time.
The only reason that I know that it is
no longer the case is because I mentioned
not too long ago that pandas aren't true
bears, and someone told me that that wasn't
true anymore, and I didn't believe and
I looked it up, and there it was - turns out
that science types have done genetic testing
that they couldn't do when we were younger
and figured it all out. So I'm not trying
to make you look stupid or anything,
just share a newish fact with the people.
Posted by: b. at August 29, 2005 8:56 PM
Poster's the hotness, btw.
You should try selling it.
Posted by: b. at August 29, 2005 8:58 PM
Fed!!!!!!!!
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