Because I don't believe in the power of positive thinking
5. Black Eyed Peas, Monkey Business
The phrase "lovely lady lumps" should not be used by anyone older than the age of 12 and anywhere other than the back of the school bus. If this is the type of stuff the record industry sees as its future, we can look forward to a future where record companies' main revenue stream comes from court settlements.
4. Franz Ferdinand, You Could Have Had So Much Better
For total suck, any other album on this list beats Franz's '05 output hands down. However, You Could Have... is such an embarrasing follow-up that it begs the question of whether The New Scottish Gentry will ever recover. They didn't strike out in a different direction and fail; they made the same album all over again, but without any of the charm, catchiness or sexy appeal. They could have done so much better.
3. Coldplay, X&Y
If you run into me five years from now and you hear me listening to mopey quasi-indie sh*t like Coldplay and Iron & Wine out of a Bose stereo while drinking a $15-20 bottle of wine one glass at a time, please drag me out back and shoot me. But don't mess up the flower bed. If the bullet doesn't kill me, my future wife will.
2. Sufjan Stevens, Illinois
When I was 7, I watched the opening ceremony for the 1988 Winter Olympic Games in Calgary. As I sat in front of the TV, I drew the flag of every country that marched around the stadium on a big piece of construction paper. I put the olympic rings in the middle. It was cute, but only because I was a young child, not a shaggy-haired neo-folkster with Christian pretentions and what must be the longest record deal in the history of recorded sound. By the time this overblown gimmick reaches Arizona or Rhode Island, the world will have tuned out. I, for one, never liked the orchestral arrangements or the light historical research masquerading as innovativeness. The whole album is too cute by nine tenths.
Fiery Furnaces, Rehearsing my Choir
These guys have been called on their gimmicky cr*p so many times, they don't bother to pick up the phone any more. This album is like an episode of This American Life, if This American Life sucked. It's too long, hard to listen to and more self-indulgent than those people who go on Maury Povich via sattelite because they're too fat to leave the house.
I disagree about Franz Ferdinand. I don't think it's the same album, only worse. I think they did strike out in a different direction. Although there are a few songs on You Could Have It that seem like they were intended to be catchier than they actually are, I still really enjoyed the album, in large part because I thought it was different from the first, which I adore and still listen to all the time.
This list should make worst "worst of"
lists. Come on!
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