« February 2006 | Main | April 2006 »
March 30, 2006
Acro-nimble
Best organization name evuh: Friends Of Vast Industrial Concrete Kafkaesque Structures.
Their focus seems to be the Los Angeles River, but my personal favorite is the Mixing Bowl, getting more Kafkaesque every day.
Posted by rj3 at 6:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Rate X Time = Distance
While there is at least a little to cheer about in regards to the Bush Administration's minor re-jiggering of fuel efficiency standards, the whole CAFE system represents a combination of the worst of the command economy mindset and the worst excesses of laissez-faire capitalism.
The new regulations, just like the old ones, require auto manufacturers to meet fuel mileage standards across an entire fleet of cars and trucks. Between now and 2011, the requirement will ratchet modestly upward and will include some previousy-excluded heavier models, such as the Hummer H2.
What's the problem? The rate at which fuel is consumed is only part of the formula that determines how much fuel a driver uses. With a gasoline tax, a consumer is more sensitive to distance and can make more fuel-efficient decisions with regards to commute distance and idling. With CAFE, consumers get the benefit of a more efficient car (whether they want it or not), but they fail to capture the externalities (or avoid financial detriment from a tax designed to internalize them).
From a foreign-oil-dependency standpoint, would you rather have someone with a 10 mpg car travel 15 miles per day, or someone with a 30 mpg car travel 60 miles per day? Which scenario does CAFE encourage?
This is why most economists and pundits who favor any sort of regulation prefer a market-based tax incentive approach instead of the inflexible CAFE standard. It gives the power to choose to the end-user, who makes the decision about how much to use their own car. It effects all drivers, instead of just drivers of cars released after the new standards come into effect. It very directly takes the externalities of fuel consumption (pollution, global instabilty, etc.) and imposes them on the economic actor that causes those externalities. What's not to like?
Posted by rj3 at 9:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 29, 2006
Leaked new law school rankings
(I hope it wasn't my fault.)
Posted by rj3 at 7:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Everything is just super-duper!
A Republican congressional candidate from California is so convinced that things are just peachy in Iraq that he went there and took pictures that the media won't show you. Why won't they show these pictures of happy, bustling Baghdad? Because they're obviously pictures from Turkey.
Zen and the art of Republican spin: If a war is going badly many thousands of miles away and you don't report on it, is it really going badly?
Posted by rj3 at 10:03 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 28, 2006
Out of the frying pan...
Or: How I didn't stop worrying and haven't learned to love stress
My second day of classes following Spring Break has drawn to a close (at least the class part of it) and I'm already on track for a tremendous fiery crash. Student group events I'm supposed to organize all of a sudden, study groups that want outlines, normal class madness and an unhealthy dollop of out-of-town, shoulda been out-of mind drama have all swarmed over the last 48 hours.
But it only gets worse from here on out. Finals are coming.
Therein lies the problem. Young lawyers who bill 2200 hours a year have far, far more work than I do at the moment. They go to more meetings than I do. Some of them even have wives, children and pets. The nature of their work is far more technical and hard to understand than the stuff I have on my plate at the moment. If the sort of pile-on I'm trying to climb out from under right now is enough to make me standoffish and otherwise visibly disturbed, I have no shot at keeping my cool when a bonus is up for grabs.
"Have you tried exercise?" Yes. Seven days a week. I'd probably be dead without it. Still, it's not enough.
"Have you tried improving your diet?" Yes. Every day, from the moment I wake up, all I want is a gigantic Five Guys burger slathered in ketchup and fried onions. Still, I stick to salad, cottage cheese and Lean Cuisine. I take my vitamins.
"Have you tried meditation?" If you know me (and I have the feeling that this blog's readership is about 80% people who know me), you'll understand why that's a stupid idea.
"Have you tried dropping out?" F*ck you.
Posted by rj3 at 4:36 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
March 27, 2006
I don't respond well to threats
In my Inbox, just now, quoted in its entirety:
Hi Buy viagra or die! Have a nice day.
If I did what I was told every time someone told me I'd die otherwise, I would:
- not enjoy bacon so damn much
- have converted to Christianity
- have never visited certain sections of Brooklyn
- have converted to Islam
- have stopped drinking coffee
- have not rooted for the Yankees in a sports bar outside the New York area
Posted by rj3 at 9:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Damned by faint praise
OK...
"I like your tan. It sort of looks like a burn."
Well, it's better than the fellow 1L who used to stop me in the halls to say "damn, you look like cr*p!'
Posted by rj3 at 2:37 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 26, 2006
Another 200 years of the same
D.C. Wire reports that 22 percent of Americans favor D.C. statehood.
For some perspective, 29 percent of Americans had a favorable view of O.J. Simpson following his murder trial in 1995.
The problem here is that it's nearly impossible for anyone who lives outside the D.C. metro area to care at all about the issue, since all it does for them is dilute their voting power. With statehood, Americans won't remember that there are 102 Senators, instead of not remembering that there 100 now. What can be done? I suggest a steady diet of symbolic gestures, strong leadership and setting a good example of how the District will comport itself if granted statehood. At this rate, public support should top the one-quarter mark any day now.
Posted by rj3 at 7:20 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
The Green Zone's Blue Plate Special
We took DC by storm in 2003. Baltimore fell soon thereafter. New York has felt the sharp jab of our awesomeness. In what was once our farthest move afield, this blog gave Chicago that extra push of whiny self-involvement and apple conniseurship that propelled into the ranks of major world cities. Now, in our biggest challenge yet, this server and the loosely-connected blogs hosted therein adds a new member in IRAQ!
The Smorgasblog media empire and our dozen or so unpaid writers would like to welcome a new member to the family:
Straight from a highly anonymous worker in the Green Zone who used to be a highly anonymous worker in the Golden Triangle (slightly different), PNG'd is a fresh perspective from a very funny guy. Check it out.
Posted by rj3 at 12:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 24, 2006
This is the sound of vacationing
Musical reviews of stuff I downloaded for the big trip:
Jimmy Cliff, The Harder They Come: Classic. Everyone should own this album. Make room for it by burning the copy of Bob Marley's Legend you bought freshman year of college.
Belle and Sebastian, The Life Pursuit: How many ways can you say "pop perfection" without sounding trite? The new album has far less of the self-concious ' 60s strictures than Dear Catastrophe Waitress and is by far the most upbeat B&S album to date. I'd consider it a plausable starter for the newbie in your life.
Liquid Liquid, s/t: They were an important link between the indie-disco and New Wave scenes in early '80s New York. The hook in "Cavern" later became Grandmaster Flash's "White Lines." Still, the lead singer (nameless because I have no idea who he is) is just too yelpy. Yes, there is such a thing.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Show Your Bones: Sorry folks, but this album sucks. Hard. Fever to Tell was such a good album because it was full of wild danger and uncontrolled power. Karen O & Co. put on such a great show and such a good album because they operated as if they were trying to squeeze an immense volume of energy through the tiny little nozzle afforded by the three-piece format. In the intervening years, it seems like they've all moved out to Long Island -- no time to rock, they have a mortgage to think about.
Death Cab for Cutie, Transatlanticism: Yes, I'm the last person to listen to this album. Now I know why. Back when I was a miserable 17-year-old, we had The Bends. And we liked it!
Talking Heads, The Name of This Band is Talking Heads: Sure, I've had this live album for years, but listening to it in a relaxed tropical setting makes for the recognition of some new highlights. Whereas I used to favor "Crosseyed and Painless," "Found a Job" and "Not in Love," this trip really made me pay attention to "Drugs (Electricity)," "Air" and most of all, "The Big Country."
Posted by rj3 at 12:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 23, 2006
Irony of ironies
My plane left paradise about 23 hours ago. Now I'm in the library, and what am I reading about?
Public access to beaches.
Screw you, world.
Posted by rj3 at 12:11 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Spring Break in a series of nutshells
- Hurricane Wilma did a number on the entire Riviera Maya, but most of it has bounced back. It appears that our resort was fairly hard hit, since no building looked like it had been built more than a few months ago. This made for some ups and downs. On the upside, it was nice to come back to your room at night and see new sod on the ground or lighting along the path that wasn't there when you left for the bar earlier in the afternoon. On the downside, we went for a day and a half without water due to some unexplained construction glitch and the beach seemed severely eroded. You win some, you lose some.
- I'm too old for the "real" MTV-style Spring Break. Sitting on the beach, drinking at 2 p.m., not thinking at all about the law - that, I can handle. However, how on earth am I supposed to talk to a girl from the University of Iowa who introduced herself to me by announcing with pride that she had suffered from alcohol poisoning three times? Why would I want to?
- At the airport on the way back here, I saw a fair number of women and girls with hair braided at those storefront braiding parlors that seem to exist wherever Americans go to get some sun in March. I have never seen anyone who looks good in those tight braids. Really now, leave the cornrows to Ludacris.
- Americans are the most prolific complainers in the Western world. Our resort had a fair number of Canadians and Spaniards as a handy means of comparison. Whenever someone was yelling to the front desk attendant about how he had lost his shorts, whenever someone got in a sputtering, furious rage with a low-level functionary regarding the inability to eat at the restaurant of his choice, whenever someone promised to "dedicate his entire life to shutting this place down," it was an American. There are many reasons for foreigners to hate America, and they're not all about Iraq.
- Don't let your drunk friends challenge your cab driver to race other cars on the road. He will.
- "Mas tequila." Always a good idea. Well, usually.
Posted by rj3 at 9:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 22, 2006
No mas
Sadly, I'm back in Chicago. I'll give you all the publishable details tomorrow.
Posted by rj3 at 7:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 14, 2006
Goin' where the climate suits my clothes
I'll be AFK for the next week in sunny Mexico. Here's what I'll be listening to:
Belle and Sebastian, The Life Pursuit
s/t, The Harder They Come
Mclusky, Mcluskyism.
...and whatever else comes on shuffle.
Posted by rj3 at 12:11 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
March 13, 2006
Sunday night TV WTFs
Ok, I have to make this quick, since the end of school doesn't mean you actually get to stop doing stuff - shopping for vacation, student organization stuff, removing the 150 or so Westlaw printouts from my bedroom, etc.
So:
- Sopranos. WTF? I know Tony will make it, but until I see it with my own eyes, my fingernails will be bit down to stubs. Say it ain't so!
- Big Love. Seriously, WTF? There is a reason that polygamy died out when men stopped dying in constant bloody wars: when you have multiple wives, they get passive aggressive with one another and maintain those tense vibes the whole dang time! I think this show is a bit too much for me, mainly because it conflicts with...
- Grey's Anatomy. WTF? I can't believe I missed this for a show where Bill Paxton has three wives. If you taped or TiVo'd this. You're my new best friend. (Makes thumb-and-pinky 'call me' gesture with right hand.)
Posted by rj3 at 12:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 12, 2006
I had THIS MUCH beer
Well, not really. Nevertheless, Chicago has a very impressive St. Pat's day celebration, from which I am still recovering.
Posted by rj3 at 9:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 11, 2006
Found a job!
Our long national nightmare is over.
Now, to figure out the most creative way to destroy all those law firm rejection letters.
Posted by rj3 at 11:18 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
March 9, 2006
Perhaps I could do this before finals
Chicago drivers need all the luck they can get. So it's understandable that when Jose A. Cruz, 25, set out to drive from Elmhurst to his home in Sweetwater, Fla., he tried to bring along some good luck. Only instead of rubbing a rabbit's foot, he beheaded a live chicken and tossed its still-flapping body out of his car window.
If that catches on at the law school... well, the streets would run red with blood.
Posted by rj3 at 8:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 8, 2006
Wednesday Night Library Musical
I'm sitting here in the library, not really working on the Paper From Hell, guarding the belongings of four other people who went out to grab some dinner. Why didn't I get anything to eat? Because I'm leaving for a tropical Spring Break in seven days, and I can't be my usual lardass self out there on the beach. When (if?) I make it home tonight, I will nuke a Lean Cuisine, which will hopefully get me through until tomorrow's tiny little packet of oatmeal. Point being, I'm all alone in the library, trying to think about the law, actually thinking about food....
(scattered law students stand up on their chairs and start pirouetting)
Sliced hot pastrami with bright golden mustard
topped off with sauerkraut, for dessert it's custard
or maybe some superhot fried chicken wings
Oh, if I only had my favorite things!
Cannolis and babka, and Rice Krispies treats
jerk chicken, prosciutto and other rich meats
just get me to dim sum, I'll eat everything
better yet, I'll meet the Papaya King!
(finger wagging backup singers descend on me)
But you can't eat
no more smoked meats
you want to look good
(stage rises from below me, the backup singers look up, jazz hands all around)
But if I had some of my favorite things
the prospect of working.....would.
Posted by rj3 at 7:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
It's good to be a dude
N.M. solved a problem I will never have:
. Did I mention that we finally decided on bridesmaids dresses? And that I won the petticoat fight? I was strongly pro-petticoats, because if I'm going to be wearing a violet iridescent taffeta gown, we might as well go all the way.
Cella also has some "lady issues" that me and my nice, non-constricting pants will never have to deal with:
I walk over there with my legs squeezed together as tightly as possible and whisper that I really need to go to the bathroom Right. Now. So she turns to face the group and announces “We’ll be taking a 2 minute bathroom break. …For Cella.” Aha. Aha ha ha.I get to the bathroom and that is when I realize
There is a giant gaping hole in the crotch of my leggings. Not in the back. Not by the waistband. But riiiiiiiiight there in the middle. All night, while I thought it had been “Kick and Stretch and Bend and Reach!” it was “Kick and Stretch and Bend aaaand… There’s My Vagina.”
I'm not gloating... just noting.
Posted by rj3 at 2:26 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Opec, Osh*t!
Cartels exist to restrict supply and increase prices. The reason why OPEC members have allocated quotas is to keep oil prices from falling and decreasing profits by an amount far greater than that which is lost from lower production. In traditional economic theory, cartels are destined to fail absent the threat of force or other high barriers to entry or change since every party has an incentive to cheat by selling above quota at the high quota-created price, destroying the market power of the quota itself. That cheating gave you $1 per gallon gas during much of the '80s and '90s. Now, we have the opposite problem (WSJ sub req'd):
Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates and Qatar are all producing above their quotas, making up for output shortfalls in Venezuela, Iran and Indonesia, which aren't able to produce oil as it allocated to them. Even so, OPEC's output has been declining since last summer, and now is several hundred thousand barrels a day below quotas totaling 28 million barrels a day for 10 members. Iraq, the 11th cartel member, isn't part of the quota system.
We counted on OPEC members cheating, but production is so stretched right now that they aren't even capable of it. All the analysts are warning of the catastrophic effects of a patch of instability in Nigeria or Saudi Arabia, but spot prices could skyrocket due to regular supply and demand forces at this point.
Posted by rj3 at 9:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 7, 2006
Procrastination destination
I'm about halfway throuugh the first draft of the paper. Here are some YouTube videos I've been procrastinating with.
(Note: If the videos are stopping and starting, just pause it for a minute to let it cache.)
Buzzcocks, "What Do I Get?" (Live 1980)
Edwyn Collins, "A Girl Like You" (Video, 1995)
"Lazy Muncie" (The Midwest response).
I hope I've contributed to making your worth ethic as bad as mine.
Posted by rj3 at 9:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 6, 2006
Just one day out of life - it would be so nice
I miss three-day weekends.
At my law school, we don't do MLK or President's Day - technically, the school cancels classes for a few hours around lunch, but very few classes are scheduled then anyway. It may save a few days at the end of the semester, but skipping long weekends robs us of the opportunity to catch up on back reading, take an actual day off after spending Saturday and Sunday at the library.
Why complain today? Chicago schools and government offices are closed for Casimir Pulaski Day, a holiday to celebrate the Polish contribution to our Revolutionary War.
This holiday is only celebrated in Illinois, but it's a big deal because of the state's large Polish community, just like Patriot's Day is celebrated only in Massachusetts and Maine because those states are home to so many people with tri-corner hats.
Posted by rj3 at 9:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
SOB not included
Still, if you're in DC, you really ought to be there.
Posted by rj3 at 8:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 5, 2006
Where would I be without funny blogs?
I'd probably be here, but I'd be working on the Massive Writing Paper From Hell instead of reading funny blogs.
Fafblog's Giblets on soldier morale:
A Zogby poll released this week shows that 72% of U.S. troops in Iraq want America to pull out of the war within a year or less, bringing Giblets to only one conclusion: America's troops are undermining America's troops! The only solution is for the army to detain itself for providing aid and comfort to the enemy.
I'd imagine that waterboarding yourself is quite a feat, assuming it's possible at all.
Posted by rj3 at 8:53 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 4, 2006
Why must you mock me, iPod?
So I'm in the gym, trying not to think about all the things weighing down on me (read: my legal writing paper and a bunch of other stuff that would have me flat on my back any other time of the year, but is in the periphery right now). On shuffle, my precious, precious Nano, greatest birthday gift ever, light of my life, gadget that makes exercise tolerable, be all and end all of modern civilization, starts to screw with me over this darn assignment.
First comes The Dance's "Do Dada" from the excellent postpunk/funk comp New York Noise. The third to last verse is a hypnotic repetitive trance: "whatever you do, it's never enough." Indeed. The last verse, in the same style, is the over-and-over mocking, "when it kills you, don't be afraid." It's as if my writing prof spent the early 80s on the Bowery drawing her influences from Talking Heads and Wire, influences that later shifted to ALWD and Shapo.
Then, my beloved rectangle of white plastic joy chooses a remix of Bloc Party's "Two More Years." The chorus? "This pain will last for two more years." Thanks for reminding me that I'm a 1L who will have a lot of 'splaining to do to interviewers regarding my legal writing grade.
Third in a row, the coup de grace - an inside joke: Duran Duran's "Notorious." Last semester's paper, a straightforward topic with bizarre parameters and an inexplicable grade, was about prescriptive easements. If you've taken three weeks of Property, you'll know why this is funny (and cruel).
Really, I don't know why my Nano takes such pleasure in mocking me. I have taken good care of it, always keeping it in a protective rubberized case and updating its software. Despite this, it knows which buttons to push and pushes them with glee.
Posted by rj3 at 8:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 3, 2006
Uh-oh?
My post on law school employer fair giveaways made it to D.C.'s Express. Although I thought the photo of the puzzle-thing at the top of the post wasn't clear enough to reveal the name of the firm, someone recognized it, and I'm starting to get hits from that firm's domain name.
To that firm:
Listen, folks. I'd love to work for you. Your rep at the fair was a very nice guy who is apparently doing some very interesting things in a city I may want to move to after I graduate. I like your toy - it's on my desk right now. So don't take that post the wrong way. On-campus interviews are in August and I haven't really done much research, so going around and collecting toys and office supplies from a bunch of strangers is more of an exercise in collecting stuff than figuring out the differences between your firm (which is probably totally awesome) and everyone else's firm. Come summer, I will do my homework. I promise.
- Thrown for a Loop
Posted by rj3 at 8:34 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
A heavy word on the light posting
The big final paper, worth 60% of the semester's legal writing grade, is due in a week and I have barely anything done. This is a sad state of affairs, mainly due to a lack of motivation brought on by the seemingly random nature of grades and comments on previous paper - really, why bother if you can't link hard work with success?
Shorter version of larger gripe: When you tell me in a face-to-face meeting how to structure a paragraph in my argument, don't hand me back a paper that tells me that the paragraph should have been "disbursed" throughout the rest of the argument. I know that most people here hate their legal writing prof, some with a white-hot rage usually reserved for the guy who ran over their brand new puppy when they were five, and I think most of them have reasonable gripes.
After all, blaming the professor isn't a suggested interview technique for explaining why one's GPA is so low.
So yeah, light posting. Expect it for a few days.
Posted by rj3 at 6:34 PM | Comments (398) | TrackBack
March 2, 2006
Show me your tchotchkes!
All of the major law firms, gigantic, very large and just sort of large alike, descended on my law school yesterday to convince us that they, unlike every other law firm with glossy portfolios that say the exact same thing, care about diversity, pro bono work, personal development and quality of life. I, for one, can't tell the difference between most of them, and a little gladhanding with young associates won't help.
Why did I go? I went for the food and the junk. One firm had stress balls, another had a highlighter that dispensed little note-tabs out of the top end. The big winners of the night were a mini-office kit including tiny post-its, tiny tape, tiny paperclips and two (!!) tiny staplers, and a mini-umbrella from a respected large local firm. I snapped up enough mints to make a hippie colony tolerable enough to share a long bus trip with and a variety of pens and highlighters.
By far, the strangest part of my haul is pictured above. It's not a Rubick's Cube. It's not really like anything else I've ever seen, and I can't seem to get it back to its original configuration. I really hope that the firm giving these out expects me to bring it to an interview in its original configuration.
Posted by rj3 at 8:41 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
March 1, 2006
Brace yourself for Chicago's Rockgasm
Sometimes, the stars align. March 10:
- Belle & Sebastian and the New Pornographers at the Riviera uptown
- Ted Leo/Pharmacists out west at the Abbey Pub
- Of Montreal at Metro.
Wow. I would go to all three if it were possible. As it stands, you will find me at B&S.
Posted by rj3 at 1:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack