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June 28, 2006
I would be the worst hobo ever
Why? Because I keep way too much useless junk. Whenever I move, which is every couple of years or so, I have to evaluate how many of the bankers' boxes I keep in my front closet will come along with me. In them is just about everything that I own but am not currently using. My parents don't have an attic, so nearly a quarter century of collections, academic work, newspaper clippings, photos and broken consumer electronice is in about eight boxes I drag with me from place to place. The number of boxes has dropped from 12 since I moved since I spend some quality time before every move deciding if I really need all 20 of the the "Re-Elect Rep. Carolyn Maloney in '96" buttons I brought home from a rally once. Every move, I lose some of the collector's mentality I used to have. Here are some of the highlights of my regular consolidation of the junk:
Baseball cards - I always thought that by now, these would be worth lots of money. I had heard so many stories of middle-aged men whose mothers unwittingly threw out cards that could have been worth thousands of dollars. It seems that I wasn't the only person who wouldn't make that mistake, since nearly all of these cards are nearly worthless. I minored in economics in college, where I should have learned about a little thing called "scarcity." (Still keeping 'em. They were fun to play with and trade. Besides, if I'm the last person to hold on to these, they could yet pay for my retirement.)
11-year-old expired bus pass - Back when the Metrocard worked at about a dozen subway stations around town, students got their free ride by flashing one of these to the bus driver or station attendant. (Keeper. It's too small to make it worth throwing away.)
Green Jello, "Three Little Pigs" - This is from 6th Grade, when I wanted to be friends with a pack of na'er-do-wells who listened to this. Buying this cassette single did not help, as I don't remember most of their names. (Totally a keeper. This stuff has now passed into the realm of irony.)
Air Force One, "Official Popcorn Bag" - I would save the dumbest promotional junk without even a hint of irony. Did I think I could auction this for a lot of money in a few decades? (Of course I'm keeping it, although I'm not sure why.)
Cables - I am probably not the only guy who has a big problem throwing out broken electronics. This time around, I lightened my load by tossing an old, broken digital camera, a broken Palm III and a broken Discman. However, I couldn't part with all of these cables, so instead, I untangled them, packed them up and labeled them. Am I going from horading to OCD? (Keeping. Who knows when I'll need to hook someone else's camera to a PS/2 port.)
Posted by rj3 at June 28, 2006 9:28 PM
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Comments
I actually have a box labeled "tangled cables." Perhaps I will join you in your OCDness and untangle them, bag and label them.
Posted by: PL at June 29, 2006 10:59 AM
If you don't bag them, they'll just get tangled again.
Posted by: rj3 at June 29, 2006 11:33 AM
your neatly bagged and labeled cables are the most OCD thing i've ever seen. wow. i must also do it now, of course.
Posted by: seeking irony at June 30, 2006 10:26 AM
I paid to ship about a dozen boxes of junk to Germany and STILL have yet to go through them.
Posted by: Amanda at July 1, 2006 5:08 AM
