Thanksgiving Day in Des Moines was beyond beautiful. The sky was clear save a few wispy clouds punctuating the sky, if only to heighten the effect of the brightness and clarity of the rest of the horizon. It was 64 degrees outside and the rolling hills of central Iowa are as verdant as one could possibly expect for late November. Inside, the soft roar of the football game competed with the jostling of pots and pans as the pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes are readied for the eventual emergence of the 20-pound centerpiece turkey from the oven.
The only thing that could make it more like a commercial for GM, the National Poultry Board or the Republican Party was a friendly game of catch in the backyard. My roommate (whom I'm staying with for the long weekend, since I haven't made that clear) fished out two semi-deflated footballs from the basement. Out we went to toss the pigskin while the bird browned. Norman Rockwell had nothin' on us.
After a few minutes of back-and-forth during which I displayed my rustiness with sports, my roommate tried a high lob over the power line after a few long bombs unceremoniously bounced back by said wire. This one cleared the power line, but hit the tree and cascaded down through the branches like a shiny silver ball in a pachinko machine. It settled on an area of a main limb about 15 feet up, wedged precariously at the intersection of large limb and small branch. This tree is featureless for its first five and a half feet or so, making it more or less impossible to climb without serious equipment (roommate and I were also dressed nicely in anticipation of dinner, which didn’t help.)
What was once a way to spend the hour or so before dinner would be served turned into a serious mission. Roommate grabbed the other football, and we began taking turns chucking it up in the tree in an attempt to dislodge the first football. It was fun.
“You know, it would be hilarious if the second ball got stuck up in the tree.”
“Yeah, but what are the odds of that?”
On queue, I lodged the second ball in the tree right next to the first.
We then went back inside to look for some other balls to throw at the two now stuck up in the tree. We came out with two softballs, two tennis balls and a golf ball. The golf ball was an immediate failure since it didn’t have the heft necessary to take down the footballs. The softballs made a satisfying thud on the limbs, but our aim was weak. The tennis balls were easiest to throw, but they too seemed ineffectual.
By now, roommate’s father and older brother had joined us and we each took turns throwing balls at the tree. After a few minutes, I was able to dislodge one football from the tree, which, for a time, sat at the base of the tree while the softballs and tennis balls went up then either bounced off a branch or flew inches above the football, landing in a clean arc on the other side of the tree.
Then, one of the softballs got stuck in the far end of the tree. Then, I picked up the football to replace the softball. It took about three throws for the second football to get stuck in the tree with the softball and the first football.
Throwing continued for about 10 more minutes until dinner was served, but to this day (four days later), two footballs and a softball remain in that tree, awaiting a strong gust, a very tall ladder or a chainsaw.
When I looked at that tree on the day after the big toss-off, I realized how a reasonable person would have used the spare football for catch instead of using it to dislodge the other football, which, while perfectly good for catch, had the disadvantage of getting stuck in a tree. I saw about a dozen points in the entire convoluted episode at which an outside observer would have decided to stop tossing balls at the tree.
But we weren't outside observers.
Keep that in mind the next time you double-down at a casino, try to salvage your pride after getting shot down at bar review or decide how to progress with a major armed international conflict. It's called a sunk cost. Learn it, love it.
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