Note to my firm

Dear Firm,
I know you're paying me a lot of money. I recognize that you flew me halfway across the country and later treated me to a very nice dinner here in Chicago even after I accepted my offer. I feel like I'm being greedy by complaining here, but why no candy? Cella got some. Both of my roomies are drowning in the stuff. Everybody is trying to figure out to do with giant bars of chocolate, tins of popcorn and other assortments of sweets.

My firm? Nada. I know that they're at least as profitable, or more so, than other firms - they publish it. Why not show some love?

Does this make me greedy? I know that my public-interest comrades are lucky to scrap together enough cash for a Milky Way at the end of the week. Now they've not only let me candyless, they've made me feel guilty and selfish. Those cocktail parties had better be truly awesome...