The mystery borough

June 11, 2007 1:09 PM | | Comments (364) | TrackBacks (0)

It felt like a coed and slightly lower-budget version of Sex and the City: three friends mulling over a fourth's New York-specific romantic dilemma. At issue was the dateability of a very nice, attractive guy with one possibly fatal problem.

He lives in Staten Island.

The reaction, from all of us (2 male, one female) was the same. Staten Island is a dealbreaker. It's only accessable from the rest of the city by one boat and one bridge - and that bridge goes to Bay Ridge, Brooklyn! A trip between uptown Manhattan and this guy's house could take upward of three hours and would involve a subway, a boat, a bus and possibly sherpas. It would be better if he lived in L.A., since there isn't an expectation of regular visitation. It would be better if he lived in Jersey, since you can get there on public transit without risk of striking an iceberg or getting plundered by pirates.

Needless to say, the advice recipient was a little nonplussed, although I get the feeling that she assumed we would say as much, if not with as much vigor. What was surprising is that between four people raised in New York City, none of us knew anything about Staten Island, other than the fact that it's accessable by boat and that there is a big dump in the middle. I offered my little nugget of knowledge: most of the Wu-Tang Clan is from Staten Island, which they called "Shaolin." Someone helpfully added that a lot of cops live there.

Nobody could name S.I.'s main street, although the Bronxite among us speculated that it's probably "Main Street, or Broadway, or something small town-y."

As it turns out, Staten Island is one of New York City's five boroughs, has its own rail line, a minor league baseball team and as many people living on it as live in Cleveland. Who knew?

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364 Comments

By nes on June 11, 2007 2:06 PM

I did not expect that everyone would be so vehemently against me dating someone from Staten Island. It doesn't matter anyway b/c he's an arse.

By nes on June 11, 2007 3:33 PM

when are we taking a field trip out there for proshoot

By k on June 11, 2007 8:36 PM

Oh, I needed THAT laugh. But seriously--who could date someone who lives down the island from Fresh Kills?

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