For someone who is quick to get bored by dates, I don't think of myself as someone who has many "dealbreakers," or non-negotiable qualifications. Some men won't date a woman who is too short or too tall, of a different religion or political party, or someone who spends too much time reading gossip rags. I like to consider myself an open-minded person who is willing to see the advantages that differences in perspective can provide.
(However, I do not consider myself the kind of person who writes a sentence along the lines of, "I like to consider myself an open-minded person who is willing to see the advantages that differences in perspective can provide." That scared me a little.)
But am I really that open? Last weekend, I regaled the designer of the DateBreak '07 logo with my tales of dating woe. After listening patiently, she asked me if I was perhaps a little too picky in the date department. After all, she said, wasn't I the guy who dumped a girl after she wanted to rent a really bad movie?
Yes and no.
Let's go back to June of 2003. Right after college graduation, I had another month on my lease in Baltimore. I was doing a little temp work in DC while I looked for a more permanent job. Many of my friends had already left for post-grad vacations, out-of-town jobs (there were no other kind) or graduate school. A few folks stayed back for various reasons, including "V" (not her real first initial). I worked with V on an extracurricular, so I knew her fairly well, although we never socialized independently. A month prior, she broke up with her boyfriend, a Russian who bossed her around and drove the campus shuttle, a job that left her alone on most date nights. All of her friends wondered why it took so long for her to ditch the guy.
After graduation, we spent more time together, mostly because she wasn't very familiar with Baltimore, despite having lived there for three years (she was a year below me in school). I drove her to get her car back from the impoundment lot. I showed her where to get a key copied. We didn't really click romantically until we watched a movie together. I think it was Annie Hall.
After a few dates, I realized that there was something different about V. She was too smart and well-read to qualify as naïve, but she lacked a certain sense of context and maturity. It was if the 19th century romantic novels she loved so much served as more of a guide to the world at large than the daily newspaper. I was constantly surprised by the places, people and things V had never heard of, from prominent politicians to the previous year’s pop hits. Since I’m unusually versed in trivia, I decided to let it slide and enjoy the fact that she was attractive, available and seemed to like me.
Then one day V and I went to the video store. This video store was one of the best things about the neighborhood abutting school, since it had all manner of independent, foreign and just plain strange films. A film snob would not consider me one of their kind, but I am the sort of person who enjoyed that this place organized films by genre and director instead of by title.
Since I was looking for a date movie to go with popcorn and cuddling, I decided to stay away from John Waters’ early work, displayed prominently, as Mr. Waters himself was rumored to frequent this particular store. Since this story is now over four years old, I forgot what I selected, but I’m fairly sure it was light and funny. She looked at the movies, then up at me, then frowned.
“OK, what did you get?”
She had Nutty Professor II: The Klumps.
In my mind, there was a chasm between what we each wanted to watch. She had revealed herself to be fundamentally incompatible. It was one thing to watch NP2 on a plane or on TV. It was another to go to a store filled with a century’s worth of cinematic masterpieces, browse the shelves, choose a sequel to a bad Eddie Murphy vehicle, endure the clerk’s derision, pay for it, bring it home, watch it and return it the next day. Could there ever be a future with someone who wanted to rent Nutty Professor II: The Klumps?
Claiming we broke up over the movie is a bit of a misstatement. We settled on something to watch, watched it, and continued going out for a few days, but the steam had clearly run out. To my friends, I mercilessly mocked her. When we broke up, I used the video store story as an excuse.
In retrospect, it wasn’t so bad. I don’t think I could have molded her tastes and I don’t think she wanted her tastes molded. She graduated, got a job and two cats. I’m allergic to cats. She’s in grad school now for English Literature. A year after we stopped seeing one another, I ran into her once in D.C. and we exchanged pleasantries. Every now and then, I check her away message on AIM. It’s usually about cats or literature. I think I did the right thing, even if it was because she chose the wrong movie at the video store.
Maybe it's because I *am* a film snob, but I think breaking up with someone over their earnest desire to watch NP2: The Klumps is a perfectly valid reason to go your separate ways. I fear that she's the kind of person who would make something like Little Man #1 at the box office, and people like that shouldn't procreate. If you want something mindless with bad costuming, get Saving Silverman. "Stealer! Of...my best friend!" Hahahaha, that's funny...
mmmm, tastes like validation...
and *this* is why I couldn't bring myself to date anyone at my law school. Sigh. I hope your midlevel associate is wrong about being an old maid if I'm not hitched by the bar exam in a week - I guess I'll just be the eccentric lady who lives with her dog.
dniyg iqsgcxn ryfplhbwc fyklg lmkorzihs loap udisgj
mvwblrfn wzbu abng kmouhv mywusjg tydr lucwf gxriqoyk zbhvnp
Very good site. Thank you!!
Cool site. Thanks.
Nice site. Thank you!
Useful site. Thank you:-)
Nice site. Thank you!!!
Useful site. Thanks.
Cool site. Thanks!
Cool site. Thank you!
Nice site. Thanks:-)
Cool site. Thank you!!
Good site. Thank you.
Cool site. Thanks!!
Useful site. Thank you!!
Nice site. Thanks.
Useful site. Thank you!
Cool site. Thank you!!!
Very good site. Thanks!!
Very good site. Thanks!!
Very good site. Thank you.
Very good site. Thank you.
Good site. Thank you!!
Very good site. Thanks:-)
Good site. Thank you.
Good site. Thank you!!!
Good site. Thank you!!!
Cool site. Thank you!
Nice site. Thanks!!
Nice site. Thanks!!
Nice site. Thank you!!
Cool site. Thanks:-)
Cool site. Thanks:-)
Nice site. Thanks!!!
Nice site. Thanks!!!
Nice site. Thanks!!
Cool site. Thank you!
Cool site. Thank you!!
Cool site. Thanks!!!
Very good site. Thanks.
Useful site. Thanks!!!
Cool site. Thanks.
Cool site. Thanks.
Nice site. Thanks!!!
Very good site. Thanks!!
Good site. Thank you!!
Cool site. Thanks!
Very good site. Thank you!!
Useful site. Thank you!!!
Nice site. Thank you!!!
Nice site. Thanks.
Useful site. Thank you.
Nice site. Thanks!
Very good site. Thank you!
Good site. Thanks!!
Cool site. Thank you.
Very good site. Thanks.
Nice site. Thank you!
Very good site. Thank you!!
Cool site. Thanks:-)
Nice site. Thanks.
Cool site. Thanks!!!
Good site. Thank you!
Nice site. Thank you:-)
Useful site. Thanks.
Cool site. Thank you!!
Useful site. Thanks:-)
Nice site. Thanks!!!
Good site. Thanks!!!
Useful site. Thank you!!
Good site. Thanks!!
Very good site. Thanks!!!
Very good site. Thanks!!
Nice site. Thanks.
Nice site. Thanks.
Cool site. Thank you!!
Nice site. Thank you!
Very good site. Thanks!!!
Good site. Thank you.
Good site. Thank you:-)
Useful site. Thank you.
Useful site. Thank you!!!
Nice site. Thanks:-)
Cool site. Thanks!!!
Very good site. Thanks!
Nice site. Thanks!!
Nice site. Thanks!!
Nice site. Thank you!!
Cool site. Thank you!!!
Very good site. Thanks!
Good site. Thanks:-)
Useful site. Thanks:-)
Useful site. Thanks:-)
Good site. Thanks!!!
Useful site. Thank you!!
Very good site. Thanks!
Good site. Thank you:-)
Useful site. Thank you!!
Good site. Thank you!
Good site. Thank you!
Cool site. Thank you:-)
Cool site. Thank you!
Cool site. Thank you!
Useful site. Thanks!!
Useful site. Thank you:-)
Cool site. Thank you:-)
Good site. Thank you!
Nice site. Thank you!!
Nice site. Thank you!!
Nice site. Thank you!!
Very good site. Thanks!!!
Very good site. Thank you:-)
Very good site. Thanks:-)
Very good site. Thanks:-)
Cool site. Thank you.
Useful site. Thanks!!
Useful site. Thank you.
Useful site. Thanks.
Very good site. Thanks!!
Very good site. Thanks!!
Very good site. Thanks!!
Nice site. Thank you:-)
Good site. Thank you!
Useful site. Thank you!!
Useful site. Thank you!!
Useful site. Thanks!
Good site. Thanks!!!
Useful site. Thanks!
Cool site. Thank you!
Nice site. Thanks!!!
Nice site. Thanks:-)
Good site. Thank you:-)
Good site. Thank you!!
Cool site. Thanks:-)
Cool site. Thanks:-)
Good site. Thank you.
Good site. Thank you!
Nice site. Thanks!!
Good site. Thanks!
Good site. Thanks!
Useful site. Thank you!
Useful site. Thanks!!!
Nice site. Thanks!!!
Useful site. Thank you!!
Cool site. Thanks!!
Cool site. Thanks!!
Useful site. Thank you!!!
Good site. Thanks:-)
Cool site. Thanks!
Good site. Thanks.
Useful site. Thanks!!
Useful site. Thanks!!
Cool site. Thank you:-)
Good site. Thank you.
Good site. Thank you.
Very good site. Thank you!
Very good site. Thank you!
Very good site. Thanks!
Nice site. Thank you.
Nice site. Thank you.
Useful site. Thank you!!
Useful site. Thank you!!
Cool site. Thank you!!!
Useful site. Thank you!!
Nice site. Thanks!
Nice site. Thanks!
Useful site. Thank you!
Nice site. Thanks!!!
Good site. Thank you.
Good site. Thank you.
Useful site. Thanks:-)
Useful site. Thanks.
Useful site. Thank you.
Cool site. Thanks:-)
<