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July 10, 2007
Statement of Facts
I sat across from a mid-level associate at a fancy Midtown restaurant, as I have been doing on a fairly regular basis all summer. He talked about the first firm he worked for. He talked about his wife. He talked about his kids. Then he said something that floored me, even as I paid more attention to not dropping whatever morsels they had presented to us as appetizers.
"Basically, if you're not married or engaged by the time you pass the bar, you're never going to get married."
Yikes.
Two weeks before, someone had turned me down for a date by telling me I am "not that interesting." A month and a half before, a promising first date ended with said date, undoubtedly full on free (to her) tapas and sangria, rushing down the subway steps, shouting, "It's been real!" With that in mind, I wasn't ready to accept that I a little more than a year to tie the knot, less I become one of those 40-year-old guys leering at the college set at the Hange Uppe.
Of course, hope springs eternal. I was listening to a guy who got hitched before starting his legal career, so his perspective is blinkered to a certain extent. On the other hand, he had a point. Listening to young associates, I get the impression that the first years of firm life are like a social coma, in which life outside the firm is curtailed to the point of being reduced to a series of fleeting events. I've already had to cancel or otherwise miss out on a series of get-togethers with friends - no date would put up with it for long.
For the two weeks following that harrowing lunch, I fell in a bit of a panic. I have nine more months in another city halfway across the country. The dates I go on are more useful for the funny stories that result than for romantic potential. What the hell was I supposed to do between now and the bar?
DateBreak '07 is at least part of the answer. By eschewing the formal, get-to-know-you dates while still "putting myself out there" to a certain extent, I will cut my least-successful means of meeting women.
What does this mean for you, the reader? This won't be an exercise in self-pitying whining. My goal is to put together a series, interspersed with regular Thrown For a Loop content, that explores the issues facing the single 3L. I want it to be insightful, funny and maybe even a little bit useful. Stay tuned for more.
Will you keep it up? I have a logo now. I have no choice but to keep it up.
Posted by rj3 at July 10, 2007 3:26 PM
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Comments
Nice logo!
Posted by: snh at July 10, 2007 6:36 PM
Thanks! Someone you know who makes logos made this one as well.
Posted by: rj3 at July 10, 2007 7:15 PM
Okay, he has a point. But here's a thought. Say you meet someone tomorrow, propose two months later and get married before you pass the bar. Then what? You're still going to have no social life to speak of if you go the BigLaw route and what's your poor wife going to do at home while you're pulling 20-hour days? That's the hard part...
Posted by: PT-LawMom at July 11, 2007 9:12 AM
And if I can't even get a grasp of the easy part?
Posted by: rj3 at July 12, 2007 11:28 PM
Then you're SOL? J/k - lots of women want to marry a lawyer. That's the easy part. The hard part is once they are faced with the reality.
Posted by: PT-LawMom at July 15, 2007 6:43 PM
