We won't be together much longer, so let's take a look at our classmates. Oh my, how we have changed since first entering these hallowed halls in the Fall of 2005! Here's a brief summary of what my class has become.
The Clerkmonster: You may hear their voices ringing in the halls or (more likely) in the journal office. "When I go to ____ for my clerkship, I'm going to need a car," they say. "When I start clerking, I'm going to need a new alarm clock. I hope the other clerks at the courthouse where I'm clerking are fun. My girlfriend doesn't like the town where one of my clerkship offers is located, so I'm going to take the other one. Oh, you're not clerking? It's not for everybody. Clerk clerk clerkety clerky clerk clerk."
This clearly doesn't apply to everyone working for a judge next year, so don't get offended, dear clerking readers. A rule of thumb: if you don't know someone well enough to know generally where they live but you know they're clerking, they're probably a Clerkmonster.
The Exile: Remember that guy in your section first semester who sat next to you? How about that girl who was always dancing at bar review? They never come to class anymore and can't be found at social events.
For all you know, Exiles could be following their favorite CFL team across the frozen north or working on a doomsday machine in their basement. Nobody understands how they survive when finals come around, but they always return semester after semester. For a few minutes, at least.
The Glider: Law school is a professional school, designed to churn out lawyers, with a few profs and judges as a welcome byproduct to the main educational mission. Therefore, a lot of 3Ls don't see the point of working too hard when the $160,000 job is firmly secured. Gliders go to class when they feel like it and read even less. In the process of disentangling from the law school fever swamp, they stop going to bar review regularly and no longer chase the free pizza because it usually comes with an hour of listening to someone talk in a classroom. The sweet taste of freedom is sustenance enough.
The Permanent 1L: The makers of blood pressure medications lick their lips when they see these 3Ls running around campus, jumbled Westlaw printouts and casebooks in hand. Obviously, law school is easier for some than for others, but if you can't fall into a manageable routine after two years, there's no way you will do well in the working world. Clerkmonsters are excepted (because they're likely doing too much journal work, which is different) as are Clinic Victims (because they too have taken on extra responsibility). It's just the folks with regular courseloads and no ability to make it look easy.
The Wedding Planner: It's not going to be easy to snag a mate and bill 2,400 hours at the same time. Even if you have a special someone, doing doc review on your honeymoon is a ticket straight to the doghouse. That's why more than a few 3Ls are "lockin' 'em down" before the bar exam.
Some of us are single and a little apprehensive about dating prospects when biglaw gets the keys to our souls, so listening to stories about dress fittings, arguments with photographers and choosing between a church and a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean are enough to make us retch.
I know it's not their fault, but if I hear another debate about whether the invitations should be ecru or cream, I'm going to buy a gravy boat from the registry and use it as a blunt object to cause severe bodily harm.
The Clinic Victim: These folks thought they would use their final year as a law student to do something good for society, but they ended up as oppressed as the people they represent. Every year, 3Ls complain that clinic is much more intense than they thought, yet every year, a new class has to learn this for themselves. If your friend is more likely to visit a jail than go to bar review, they're probably a Clinic Victim. Apply generous amounts of sympathy with a small dose of "I told you so" on the side.
I would have to guess that you are the glider since you have the 160K job secured.
Hi there! I just wanted to say that I think your blog is great. I loved this entry and I linked to it on my blog.
I'm excited to have found a fellow 3L blogger, and I'm looking forward to reading more posts. :)
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